K8’s Got a (not so) Secret or Fibromyalgia and Walking, Part 1

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If you have not yet read Coming Soon: K8’s Got a (not so) Secret or Fibromyalgia and Walking, do it now.  Then come back and read the following:

I said

I got it during my last semester of college and, in theory, I’m officially done with it today…

And the truth is there is no theory.  It expired January 9, 2009 so I am legally (and reluctantly) through with it as of the January 10.  I don’t make a habit of breaking laws (except that one time in Arizona… but at least I did it with a smile on my face… and they even mailed a memento photo to my parents… and the state got to milk me for every dollar they could… and I got to take an AARP class at the ripe old age of 23…).  But this is certainly tempting.

I’ve already relapsed once… but it was simply because I forgot.  I was late to work, and hauling my bum through the gigantic parking lot is never a great way to start the day when you fight chronic pain.  Without really thinking I drove through the 500 step long parking lot, pulled right into my spot, and walked the 25 feet from the disabled parking to the southwest entrance.

Yep… I’m one of those people.  The kind you see getting out of her cute little Toyota Matrix and think, “Psht.  What kind of handicap does she have?!  She’s young.  She doesn’t drive a retiree car.  She doesn’t even limp.”  Though, those who know me recognize I favor of my right hip on the rough days. They continue, “She probably made the placard on her computer.  What is it with kids these days?!”

I’ll tell you what it is with kids these days… they’re far better than we give them credit for.  Despite coming from broken homes and underfunded schools with lousy libraries they’re full of heart, patience, and an insatiable desire to be loved and paid attention.  But that’s a subject for another post.

Two years ago over Christmas break I swallowed my collegiate pride.  During my annual appointment with my specialist we discussed my greatest struggle… the great distances I often had to walk to get from my parking spot (or my home because of no available parking) to my classes.  I was embarrassed to admit that by the time I made the hike (that’s not a complete exaggeration) to class I was so exhausted and hurting so badly that nearly all my brain power was used just to keep from collapsing in class.  Pair the lengthy walk to class with the lengthy winter and the whole ordeal was even more miserable.  I knew what I needed.

During the previous winter semester (January through April 2006) my university provided me a Privileged Parking Pass for use in three grad student or faculty parking lots of my choosing.  I was strategic with my selections and parked very close to my classes.  I was even permitted to park in visitor spots!  My energy level improved.  As did my morale.  And my grades.  Sadly, with the end of the semester came the end of the pass and I was back to hiking to campus.

I felt a bit like Jessica Simpson pitching Proactiv or the OxyClean (and everything else) guy.  I’d used a product.  I’d reaped the benefits.  And now I wanted more than a 30 (or 120) day trial.  I’ve always thought it must be a bit embarrassing for a celebrity to become a spokesperson for a product.  Mostly because there aren’t many brands I believe in enough to be willing to recite some silly commercial.  Plus I don’t really like acting. But, I’ll be honest, the benefits far outweighed the… shame.  Besides the obvious convenience, the pass helped me feel capable.

A bit bizarre, I know.  A pass provided to those who need extra assistance and have limited mobility can help said individual feel capable.  But that’s the truth.  It enabled me to succeed and it humbled me.

So, two years ago over Christmas break I swallowed my collegiate pride and asked…

You get the picture.

Come back tomorrow for Fibromyalgia and Walking, Part 2.

4 responses to “K8’s Got a (not so) Secret or Fibromyalgia and Walking, Part 1”

  1. Great story. Now I’m going to read the clutter story. My wife and I “debate” on that one all the time.

  2. Thank you for sharing this. I’ve always wondered whether or not I was at that point with my fibro… I’ve always thought the shame and people’s reactions would be too much for me. I really appreciate your post and insights. Thanks!!

  3. […] addition to the improvements in my morale and grades (as discussed here), I was reminded how pleasant winter weather could be.  I enjoyed running errands.  I conquered […]

  4. Don’t be afraid to ask your doctor about one. People’s reactions can be brutal but for the most part I found I beat myself up about it more than anyone else.

    The toughest part for me was the fact that I didn’t need/use it every day. Initially I wondered what coworkers and friends thought seeing me use it one day and walk perfectly fine the next. But eventually I got over that and realized it didn’t matter what they thought. (Although, I admit my pride was a good check to see if I really needed to use it or not.)

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